Winter wonderland

So pretty outside with the snow!   But drivers are crazy.  Last week in one day in expressway near my house, there were three pile ups, one hundred cars, sixty cars and 30 cars! (Between a stretch of highway during the blizzard, one took 2 hrs to clean up, !   ).  Thankgoodness I didn't have to take that road that day. Ugh this month has been icky, stomach flue, bad cold, hanging cough, food poisoning, and today I feel like a truck ran me over! I've taken aleve, two naps, tea, chicken broth, and I'm still sore all over, even though the weather is clear!.    So in between the soreness I've been working on knitting, I'm making a blanket for my nephew, twin size and almost big enough!  Then I'm gonna embroider a giant j, and if have time a boarder.  Only two afternoons off this week so who knows how much time I'll get to work on it with how tired i am after work, plus our outtings!  Work is iffy, still having issues with boss. But tomorrow is the holiday party, we have about 30 ish family members coming for residents, we have Santa, which I have to pick up suit early am, and we will have Carole's!( granted they waited till the last minute to confirm, it's ok).  Sooo nervous.  Any whoo, watching a sad hallmark movie (determined to sit through it, even though the person is dieing of cancer, cause I'm sick of avoiding movies. Just keep telling myself, it's a completely different situation!). And knitting and sipping on tea, .  

Where has the time gone?

My goodness, already the end of November, a day to be thankful!  Four years since I found out my pain was real, and started chemotherapy ( started the Friday before thanksgiving 2009).  I had gone to a doc who initially thought it was an old soccer injury,  he had me go for an MRI cause the pain was in the wrong place.  A few days later, within hrs of the MRI, he called me from his family vacay in Texas to tell me to get off the leg, and wait for a call, as he had scheduled all the necessary tests for us and we just needed to confirm the dates and times it was one less thing for my family to worry about.   When I can find his name in all my records again I plan to send him a bushel of thankyou cards, for doing that, and checking in on me while I was going though treatment ( even when the docs at the larger facility that he referrd me to, wouldn't communicate with him). 

Any whoo, at work this month we really haven't done activitie.s.  I had a banjo player. Guitarists, singers,  outings on scenic drives, visits to a famous cathedral in the area ( holy hill). Longish ride, but totally worth it if your in the area!   This next month we have another greeting card workshop by trisha Klowak, crafty paws!  , caricaturist, banjo, guitar/harmonica, and mary Kay!  As well as Christmas light scenic drives, out to dinner,and a family christmas party!  Busy busy. And I'm planning  February's and march calendar already!   ( if your in the upper Midwest and have some sort of skill to share such as those listed above, contact me and well have a chat!). 

This week I made a big step.  I contacted cancermatch.com and made a profile.  It's a free social networking / dating site for individuals with cancer, survival treatment post, recurrence etc.  I know it bothers me to think what if I fell in love and then we had to go through cancer all over again, watch them or them watch me suffer?  But im tryingt o think more positive,  make some friends, have someone to vent to,see what happens.  We could Both be lucky and never experience it again till were old and grey.  Until the old and grey part comes, I'm going to see where it goes.  I did mention this worry , as other people mentioned their worries.  It seems like no one really messages on this site... Pretty ghost town ish, so we will see if anyone responds to the posts I made in diff areas.

Happy turkey day y'all :)

october office updates, part 1

This month has been fun! not everything has gone as planned when i made my wonderful themed calendar, but thats ok.  with people who have dementia, its good to have a schedule, but at the same time be willing to change it if necessary.  Every day is different, moods can change quickly or slowly, or be set and not change. fatigue can come on quickly, or last all day.  With age comes aches, and with Wisconsin weather we have plenty of aches most of the year, especially if we are human barometers due to age or sickness.  luckily we had some nice days such as for pumpkin painting, but lately has been too cold to go outdoors so some activities had to be adapted into completely different activities!  as long as my residents are happy or willing to do what i recommend, the change works out :).  every resident gets a activity schedule, and one is sent to their power of attornys.  they dont always remember they have a calendar, but thats why we help them remember .  Some of my ladies are on top of me with what daily activities are, and others would rather sit in front of the news all day ( were working on finding a happy medium).  i have some residents wh odont care to join in activities, or arts and crafts, or bingo,  so im trying to work with them to find a happy medium for us all to enjoy lol.  Many of my residents have stated that they have never done arts and crafts, except embroidery or possibly knitting in the past.  with each activity that we do i started out very simple. and as weeks progress i find activities that are more challenging to build up their stamina!  these photos are not in order,

Card workshop! as you can see, the tables were filled with supplies as my residents were building their cards

This resident chose to do several "happy halloween " cards with spider stamps "crafty paws custom designs"

Pumpkin Yahtzee! i will be adapting this game to make it easier for my residents, right here i used either a felt orange pumpkin, or a photocopy of a finished pumpkin , and felt pieces.  i will be adapting it by creating thicker pieces, and possibly magnetizing it like the pinterest one or using velcro.

http://www.oopseydaisyblog.com/2011/09/roll-a-jack-o-lantern-creative-carousel.html

 here we were painting wood objects, or paper to go towards bookmarks.  the end results will go towards our "bazaar" a facility fundraiser.

Pumpkins~  painted and foam applicated! the foam application pieces came from www.orientaltrading.com

as people finished making masquerade masks for our halloween party (oriental trading.com), i introduced water color paints!

Expressive art therapy holiday card workshop- Togo!

http://www.ebay.com/itm/331052639678?ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649

Check this out y'all!, my friend and I are hosting an expressive art therapy holiday card workshop next week, and since the internet world can't all join us, here is the link to purchase a holiday card Togo kit!  Enjoy crafting everybody, for the ArtTherapy portion,  while you work ur mind is at ease which releases  your bodies tension thereby reducing blood pressure and taking away daily stress!!!  

Catching Up with office updates

im going through my September photos, and here are what i have found! please excuse the horrible pixelated images, i will get better with practice, until then technology and i dont agree!

 

we used bubbles as a way to transition from the last day of summer, into fall! Bubbles, to reminisce of memories of the past.

Gods eyes! to hang in the windows, full of fall colors or give to the facility to sell at a fundraiser!

here are images of some smaller godseyes, as well as some residents coloring in the leaf drawings.

Our entertainer played both harmonica and guitar simultaneously!  

Finished leaf drawings, and godseyes. the leaf drawings are now on the residents apartment doors, and we have pumpkins for october!  the gods eyes are in process of getting to the windows.

this resident chose to outline her leaf and color it in naturally, as nothing is perfect, not even nature.

October update soon to come!  will have to be in sections, as we still have one week to go!

Updates!

So, I'm running out of things to talk about myself!  And my experience with cancer,  i know I could write about all the icky things I went through, or the bodily changes I experienced, or write about each treatment from my diary I kept back then, but as no one has asked any questions, I'm gonna leave that a mystery for now!   

Instead, I'm going to continue writing about different art projects and activities I do, as well as update about projects I do as a life enrichment specialist, aka art therapist, with my residents at work!   For hipaa / confidentiality concerns, I will not include photos, or names of my residents, but, just cropped photos of the activity. 

 Feel free to use my ideas, as I have recieved them from Pinterest! And will try to include all the links along with my adapted activity.  While I went to school to be an art therapist, I did learn about different activities, mostly how to adapt activities to the required population, and thinking outside the box to create our own activities.  ( we were told it was perfectly acceptable to take other ideas, and adapt them as needed).  We learned much more but in this case, a life enrichment position with dementia is wonderful!  I'm absolutely loving my job, and my residents are so sweet, and always trying new things! They like hands on activities, music, the outdoors, and bingo, and Yahtzee!  I'm trying to bring in a large variety of entertainers, so if any of y'all are south eastern wi and have aTalent to share, please private message me or comment with your email!!!!

Being a life enrichment assistant, I get to plan activities, including arts and crafts, outtings, parties, volunteer programs, a little bit of everything!  Quite overwhelming but I think I'm finally getting the hang of it, but there's still something new every day. I was told the first year is the hardest in this position.  For my group, I try to plan movement based activities twice a week, such as tossing a beach all back and forth to stretch and work our muscles, get the blood pumping and reminisce to relive stress!  We have chair yoga volunteer on Tuesdays, and Wednesday is arts and crafts day! We have decorated the kitchen calendar wAll with colored leaf drawings, tissue paper pumpkins and masquerade masks for our upcoming Halloween party. Pumpkins were donated By a local business, and the residents painted one side, and used foam stickers to put fun faces on the other!   We also have had bingo about every other day, and started doing Yahtzee in between.  We've also done ring toss, pumpkin bowling, and pumpkin Yahtzee!   Our place is full of Halloween now thanks to the residents hard work, and my coworkers setting up the outside decorations.    Some entertainers we have had are, crafty paws custom design cards, banjo bob, a guitar harmonica player, with more to come!  Even though I've only been working a month, I feel like it's been forever, I have accomplished so much here!  My goal by xmas is to bring in more volunteers :).  Pictures and descriptions will come soon,promise!

Activities outtings and crafts oh joy!

To start with, I did have to cut my temporary hours, so I am at my primary job 5 days aweek every morning and two days aweek in afternoon at temporary and every other week one day at my internship.  I was scheduling entertainers and outtings today and boy is my monthly planner filling up!   Somehow I was able to find space in next two weeks to squeeze in a haircut and my massage ( thanku momma and daddy for the welcome home /graduation gift!)   Soon though my budget will include monry for massages on top of car and phone and loans, cause boy do they help with stress!    This weekend mom and I are taking abreak from watching my nephews and going to a local public museum, so excited! Gonna get dominos after and watch a free on demand movie thanks to a coupon from time warner cable :) (good luck again to all the hunters out there in the nasty forcasted weather)  next weekend, I have work/internship friday, work 9-5 sat and supervison sunday 9-1 and crafting thr rest of the day.  Totally excited to craft and prepare for the caed workshop I'm coleading but soooooo gonna be tired.  May need naptime! Lol.  And to think I thought it was silly as a child.  Kids don't know how good they have it.

Side effects strike again

Well to start with, I'm loving my job!!! But,  these extra "temporary" hours at the other side of city at the larger facility where they run thingd differenly are kicken my butt.  One long term side effect of going through chemo is exhaustion or fatigue, so I get tired easier then most people.  40 hrs a week plus easy to exhaust, no good.  But the residents are mostly wonderful and the coworkers are trying to work with me, but its hard being the new one.  I laughed ay one the other day, this young girl still in school didn't want me to do nails because they might yell at me and she didn't want to toss me under the buss, I laughed and said she shouldn't worry, cause I interned at a hospital andwhile I didn't do manicures I had to have them do arts an craft, and we all know how people feel at a hospital in the first place much less to try and get them to think and tr y something new while on medication and in pain!  She just went ugh...but..but....  needless to say I let her do nails and tried to start discussion while she painted.  A lot of the residents ( in 90s) think I'm sweet and love my fun scrub shirts!  Ive only been grumped at three times in one week and easily switched it around.  Too bad for all this tiredness though, even with my thyroid medicine. Hopefully I will adjust to the new schedule soon.

My new job is wonderful!  starting next week for the next three months though ill be at two diff. Facilities 40 houra a week total!  Woohoo!  Today after 4 hr shift though I had to take a nap.  My fatigue is still with me and some days unbearable.  Yay for long term side effects and "new normal".  Time to stock up on mt dew and coffee!.  I really did get lucky with this job, my boss is wonderful my coworkers are nice and the residents are so sweet!, I'm already connecting with many of the residents, bringing out smiles left and right,  and as this population is primarily dementia, the lighter stage individuals help me out with the later stage individuals.  All are sweet though, can't wait till our activities truly start!  I'm hoping to get the new calendars signed off and shipped out monday afternoon.  Time to llearn yatzee and canasta!  I have october filled with fun activities thanks to pinterest. I even have some ladies who want to lwarn crochet, so many of these acitvities that are sensory based will be helpful as it activates other sections of the mind to help keep the mind ticking, stretch out its plasticity for as long as opssible. So glad that I can be hear for them.

Wow, 29 viewers ina few short hours!  Here's a recap of my situation so tou don't have to scroll all the way back to whereever it is I posted my story ( can't believe I've done 45 since I started in jan!, wi th 499 views total!!
I was always a sick child, catching every cols.  U sneeze I was guaranteed to get it.  By the time I got out of highschool my immune systwm seemed to be a little steonger, hut the pain became more frequent. *had pain a lot with sick, but parents thought I was seekeing attention*   over the courcourse of 4 years in college I had a procedure for endometriosis which gave me temporary pain relief.   Then it came back and got worse .  Pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.   In 2009i was diagnosed eith non hodgekins lymphoma large b cell in about 85% of my skeleton.  I went through 5 months of chemo and was very fortunate that the drugs took away the tumors and healed the bone!!  It took me a ehile to process what I went through, I went back to school and graduated and continued to masters and graduated!  I'm feeling better then ever. The pain stopped half way through treatment and my family is clos er then ever, I've worked on forgiveness and moving forrward and understanding what I went through how I've changed and where I'm going.

When one chapter closes, another begins

Summer is coming to an end, and fall is begining.  I will be having my new job orientation starting monday and was already called yesterday to ask if I'd like extra hours due to another employee takin maternity leave!  Its so exciting, I can't wait to meet both of my new bosses (two different buildings /locations within the large facility) and figure out my new schedule.  I bought a new date book so I can't wait to start filling it in!  Considering where I was four years ago this thanksgiving the idea of it all is almost surreal.  Was I going to survive vs I'm a masters graduate with job and internship! ( internship slow to start but that's ok). 

I also met a drama therapist at my internship who was visitng, and we have kept in touch. For anyone else interested in the creative arts therapys and hemodialysis units, we are considering teaming up to start a research project!  No clue when or where yet but we are in the process of looking up grants and scholarships, and a potential music therapist tp join us!

With all this employment excitement, I can finally take responsibility for my financial concerns and am that much closer to living on my own!  (Yay bills, car phone loans etc).   I'm fortunate to say my bills from cancer treatment are almost if not finished thanks to my dad, but I have everything else to take over and loan repayments start in november.  I have been looking at other blogs though, and wondered if any other viewrrs have questions of my experience with cancer.  As I have mentioned,  the financial burden was horrendous and I was very lucky to have my family support me in that aspect.  I would be glad to answer any questions in my next entry, either post them here or privately.

Omg I'm officially an adult!

I have recieved the offical job offer for life enrichment assistant!!! Qualify for benefits and everything even with part time!  So instead of school shopping I bought a brand new planner for all the activities ill be planning for my neww job and new blouses!!!  Omg so excited. Bright and early tomorrow I get to fill out paperwork and either wait till sept 9 for orientation or start sooner!!!

Has it really been 4 years?

4 years ago at this time I was getting a handicap pass to go back to school.  The fall of 2009, I was in my final year of undergrad, my sister inlaw was pregnant with my lil nephew, and I was preparing for a internship at a community center with an art therapist.  I was also in severe on going pain, and needed the handicap pass to get closer parking on campus and other places.  My chiro was onl y minimally taking the pain away by that point but I was determined to continue school, my part time in class aid job, and do my internship. Hell I made it that far right? What was another school year of pain when I could at least park closer to my destination.

Now, my brother is getting a divorce, I survived the pain, chemotherapy, my undergrad and masters program, am interning at alocal hospital chain with an expressive art therapy program, and today had an awesome interview as a life enrichment assistant at an assisted living facility! !!!!!!!

  I thought the pain would kill me, but here I am stronger then ever finally reaching my goals.  Its totally awesome!  On top of that since I'm back in state I get to see my nephews, last week me and the older one went to a snake show!   And the younger one learned how to use learning games on my ipad :) yay for elmo!  But he has also discpvered our ols big bike and soccer!  The older one enjoys frogs and reading about squids.  Oh the joys of little ones.   

Now that I'm finally doing art therapy, its time to move to next goals and not let my medicall history haunt me from meeting my prince charming and giving my nephews some cousins!  Who knows, maybe santa will help me out this christmas :)   yay for no pain and doing what I enjoy! ( now keep ur fin gers crossed that I get this job, should find out by friday)

Cards galore

Hey again, I just want to post a shout out to two friends who are making some spare gas money with their hobbies. http://www.etsy.com/people/kittycup , my old roomie and http://www.etsy.com/shop/CraftyPawsbyTrisha my other old roomie!  Both have amazing selections, crafty paws has been around a bit longer so the selection is greater, but kittycup has a nice variety of cards and decorations, and is slowly growing, so please take a look and send them message for custom made cards and decor!

Wooohoo!!

Soo excited, am officially at my internship, just need to finalise my schedule, and today I got called for an interview!!!!!!  Tuesday afternoon I may have a new part time job!  And also made plans for an expressive art therapy card workshop that my friend and I are leading this fall! *refering to the minion crafter who will for sure be commenting here ;) *  any who,  such an awesome day, had to share!

Art therapy, the new begining

Since I will be volunteering and recieving supervision I started a new journal!

Every semester in my program we recieved a brand new journal to use during our practicum and internship for self reflection, questions, supervision notes, etc.  This time however I am trying something new, I am creating a journal via  "altered book" method.  I raided half price books for some cheap books that had good illustration with decent weight pages and tonight I was finally inspired to start!

When this project was originally introduced to me back in freshman year I said "no way am I destroying a book to make another book"  ( also wasn't explained well in my opinion) .  It was not introduced during my latest program, and now that I'm back in the midwest, its what everyone's doing!!!   When I first visited art therapy interns at my new site, they all whipped out their journals which were really altered books.  Same at supervision, and then at the latest open studio, a cancer patient shared with me her story, and her altered books.

Her story was very powerful, and she was working  on a 3 book series using old medical books from the research library.  She incorporated words, images, modgepodge, tissuepaper, you name it she had used it.  I felt honored that she shared with me, not everything of course but at least her feelings toward the subject and let me leaf through her books,  such a great way to release thoughts and feelings toward such a painful time in such a positive way!  Knowing what ik now about this project I totally recommend it.  Its one thing starting a brand new sketchbook with empty white pages, but its another to bounce off of other words and images prewritten to make it your own.  (If this worked, I included the first few pages of my altered book)

Trust in the process

I have started post grad supervision along with post grad art therapy hours!  I have sat through two open studios at a nearby medical clinic, trying out projects and getting to know the returning clients,  have been inspired with new project ideas, listend to some wonderful survivor stories and seen amazing work, as well as distributed " distress thermometer" surveys to put a number on feelings to show how helpful the art therapy is to patients survivors caregivers staff and community members!  Today I tried to get officially signed on as a volunteer and sign up for orientation.  So exciting!  As of next week tyesday night i will be official!   Also may have found a place to go for counseling hours/supervision.  Will see after I figure out my volunteer schedule. 

As my new art therapy supervisor says "trust the process"  it will work out in the end.

Minion overload

I have to start with , I have not seen despicable me 2!   But I helped a dear friend with her card business and was able to make my own card in return for my momma.  Please check out her blog here! http://craftypawsbytrisha.blogspot.com/?m=1

She has an etsy account with many awesome cards for a variety of situations, including option for custom designs and have more on the way!

  I took many pictures from this experience because in this blog,as I stress that the process of creating is healing,( in this case it may have caused more headaches from the repetition and tiny details which were each individually added with variety of adhesives), but still it was entertainng and provided a distraction to our conversation!   Plus they were so darned cute, I learned something new, and we decided since I have an interest in card making she and I will be hosting an expressive arts card making art therapy workshop!   So we both will gain exerience leading a group , teaching something new, and introducing a basic form of art therapy to people in an exciting way that can be shared with others( a relaxing card workshop,  where people can make cards to give to others, perhaps for the holidays?)  Anyway, more details to come, enjoy the images and my friends blog! ( link above, if it doesn't work, please comment to let me know!)

Finished minins!

minion army!

front

inside

I wrote thankyou for being here for me under the snail and tree, mom loved the 

custom designed card !

Latest projects

Hi all!  So as you can see, I've been pretty busy.  And obviously don't know how to use  this with both pictures and text, so please forgive me!   I have decided in between job hunting to meet some goals.  I watched videos on grooming and groomed out dog!   I learned how to use my drop spindle to spin roving into yarn, which will go to my loom kit, and then will spin my goooood roving into regular project yarn.   My and dads garden is in full swing!  Lots of small strawberrys, and my grape vine, pepper plants, tomato and cucumber plants all have things growing, hopefully will be ready to harvest soon cause it all smells Sooo good. I also learned how to make socks, and have been working on my portraits.  Once my confidence goes up on my drawings I will totally get them online!  

So I have to vent.  The other day one of my aunts* not close to* made a comment about the socks and knittingI've been working on.  And giggled since I can just go buy socks or yarn.   Someday I hope to have my own art therapy studio, and I need to know these skills.  Fiber art can be very relaxing andit is becoming a lost art.  I someday want a large loom and spinning wheel to teach others.  Thisis what I explained to her and to others.  Plus buying roving (processed wool) and spinning, while time consumingis so much cheaper!!! And fun to say that I madeit.

Just keep swimming,,,just keep swimming...

I have been working on my portraits the last couple days, so I should soon have something to show!   I switched from basic sketch paper to nicer paper today, which requires a bit of an adjustment with the charcoal!  Thanks to my family and friends for allowing me to use their albums and photos to practice with :). It gives me much variety as opposed to staring at my own photos on hours ends!   I also am excited, because I found a new set of chalk pastels with both grey tones and skin tones for inexpensive price, so I can start incorporating color instead of only B&W!   

Still no job offers, or responses.  I thought I had two potentials however no initial response or response to my inquiries :(.    Still sending in two or three resumes a week!  Soon though ill start driving around the area with resumes.  Here's to hoping!

Officially done

I received my diploma!  School is officially done.  I have been applying to jobs with no luck, will be getting my fb page up soon thought to hopefully sell my work.  I just completed a project for my sister in law!   Part of my moving forward in health and over all life is trying to forgive and forget, and hope she complies.   Will post pics tomorrow!  Knitting and crocheting is a relaxing form of art for me ( unless I hit knots and spend hours untying before I can continue the project). I also embroider and somewhat sew.   A new project ill be working on soon-is another tshirt quilt !  I feel these types of art are 3d concrete forms of working through my anger anxieties ( insert emotion here).  Embroidery is also like painting with thread.   The images words and colors all match what I need to express.

First step post grad

So for anyone interested ( I don't get notified of comments through phone and havent checked my last entry)  I have a new Facebook page!  "Samanthas fine art and portraiture"  so far there are no images but I'm hoping to have albums up and figure out paypal or etsy (maybe both) by the end of the week.  Yay for parttime employment of sharing my talents!  Feel free to share my page with family an d friends, I look forward to working with you!

Finished

So excited to be done.  Slowly destressing feeling aches and pains come and go.  So glad I'm on my anxiety pills.  The difference is amazing.  No I don't feel drugged but I can think and aren't worrrrying all the time and get sleep!!!   

I realised though that I posted my art pics but didn't include a description.  They are the processing of moving forward.  My inner conflicts between the past pain and anxieties and discovering new things feelings and activities that I couldn't do before. Discovering my self and being able to accept my past forgive and accept that I was given a second chance to move forward; and while moving forward is frightening it is also exciting!

I am finally done.  A graduate with a degree in master of science, art therapy/ counseling! !!!!!  The picture attached is from my art that made it into the senior show. 

Moving back from east coast to midwest was really long but enjoyable!  I had to give away a couple things from lack of room in vehicles (including canvases >. <)  but that is a lesson learned. (Rummage sales and start selling work online!) 

Needless to say a goal of mine is to start my inactive etsy account with my fine art(paintings) , charcoal portraits potentially jewlry, prints (post card /poster of ptgs or nature photography) relativly soon.  (Anyone interested the link will be posted somewhere for your use, please comment to show interest, not to sign up)

Ahhh so glad school is done, yet I'm still experiencing problems with it.  My rsch and grades.  Want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!

But its over.  So I was downgraded from an assumption I wasn't aware of and my directoe says I didn't do actual research.  Bullshit!!!  Anyway,  I will soon have transcripts and my diploma and am job hunting.

Mmmmm brownie in a mug recipe

Havent tried yet but want to

Ingredients: 4 Tablespoons Flour 4 Tablespoons Sugar 2 Tablespoons Cocoa powder (Note: don't use cocoa mix or quik, it shouldn't have any sugar) 2 Tablepsoons Vegetable Oil (Don't use one with a strong flavor, eg olive, sesame, etc) 2 Tablespoons Water Dash of salt Mug Microwave1min

The end is near

School is down to less then 30 days!  Homework is finally coming to a close and I'm so glad I'm on my new anxiety medication u all have no idea!    My paintings are almost ready to be turned in, have to figure out how to hang and finish painting the edges *for a Framed look*   will find out thursday which are accepted and will post by friday!

Expressive arts workshop

I went to a Connecticut annual counseling conference and sat through trauma informed care expressive arts workshop led by cathy malchiodi.  Here was a personal project I did during our art excersize

It was my tree of self empowerment to cope with my survivor guilt at times.  We had to do a tree which can represent the person, and had to write something positive either in words about ourselves or something we wished was better (body image, worry etc). 

I formed a tree with my hands. Used scrap book paper eith hearts and xoxoxo. And tissue paper. On the inside of the leaves wrote words of love and encouragement to remember when thoughts of " why did I get chosen to live and not that kid or that dad? " enter my mind.

Mmm

Sweet potato lasagna. And spinach

I recieved this recipe from someone I work with.

Boil sweet potato like potatos. Mash them

Layer In casserole dish. Potato, groundbeef/tomato mixture, shredded cheese. Repeat.   Bake 350 for 20 minutes

this turned out just like regular lasagna with noodles! I almost wish I had more cheese though. Make sure u mash the potato real good unless u don't mind random chunky parts!

Processing

So I decided to put away my mixed media painting for now and work on a different type of painting.  Its a style that our gallery director liked and told me to reproduce for my final art show. 
I originally started the series during my painting course last fall as an experimentation with watercolors.   this winter I decided to add layers in acrylic and came up with pretty cool externlised version of my "inner conflicts" when thinking of my experience with cancer.  

To me cancer was a name for the pain and the chemo was a way to take away the pain.  Yes I realise now how close I was to death but it never felt like that at the time.    For me I came up with this saying that describes the paintings exactly, whther it came from somewhere idk but I consider it my own

" don't forget the past, but don't let it haunt the future"

Allergy season

Omg. Allergys are a bitch.  Thank you claritin!   Feel like I was hit by a bus sore throat itchy watery eyes.  Thankfully the claritin was able to help me go out with friends last night ( the movie oz was great! And walking around the mall and dinner was fun to)

But today   I ended up sleeping most of the day and still have hmwk todo.  And I swear the place I live has mold because I feel worse inside.  

Happy easter all! Hope yours was allergy free :-)

Woohoo!

3 years remission and today was declared "cured"  have to return only for yearly blood work.  And was told I am now able to go to a regular physician for normal problems!!

Followup

Today I had my followup visit.  First let me catch you up on the last week.  If I were more then minorly superstitious  I would be hiding in a hole.

Last Thursday I had a crazy dream. I was with friends from way back /elementary school, then I was talking with a guy, who I think I remember have a crush on,  then a friend from later who I have reconnected with came up (who in the dream happened to be his ex). And then suddenly she was dressed as death, and started chopping me with her scythe.   Then we were running through an airport, and the guy I was talking to just stared and then disappeared.

Saturday I flew home,  the first plane ended up being delayed because of engine and electric problems, they finally got it started and the plane kept making noises.  Then the second plane was delayed because the baggage carriers were not answering their walked or doing their jobs (they will probably be fired,  pilot was apologizing to everyone many times). So we were 45 min late landing

Today(Monday) I had my follow up scan.  We went up with our heavy purses and decided not to grab a wheelchair ,  sat and waited past our time to get blood drawn. The lady went oops, I forgot your file said pet scan so we have to take it out and start over (I really dislike needles, and pain).  Then mom and I shopped at the wellness center (. Btw, we have an art therapist now!!!  Totally checking if they want any summer interns).   Anyway,  on our way across the facility to pet scans I felt a sharp pain in my arm where the iv was.  Finally arrive at the pet scan and they couldn't get my iv to draw blood.  Then it started hurting as they flushed it and sent saline and as it hardened they finally took the needle out and tried my left arm.  ( 4 needle pokes total) and finally went in the pet scan machine and eventually left, but arms have been so sore and mildy bruised all day.

Find out results tomorrow. Hopefully this week will not be reflected in the scan results

So close but so far

Sooo tired.  Only three days of internship and then home for a week!!  Follow up petscan monday with results tuesday.

Yummy dinner

Chicken stir fry( a little dry but still experimenting, let me know what works for you! )

Cut chicken in pieces, bread with almond flour and spices
Cut up sweet mini peppers and onions

Sweet potato fries ( check past post for link)

Zoooom

Went roller blading tonight. Was awesome!  Now thats the way to relax.   Have to put so much thought and energy into skating that everything else goes away.  So wanted to keep going but after two hours my friends group was leaving.  Cant wait to go back :-)

The first thing the ticket person asked me was " are you picking someone up?" Lol felt real old there.   Then my friend and I realisef that all the goodlooking guys our age there were dads for the kid parties.  And then I realised it been 13 years or so since I last skated.   I feel old and alone .  But the year is still young so who knows. Yay for skating! And only falling once!

Frustration

Sorry that it isnt very clear, but I guess its not supposed to be.  I started this mixed media painting last year,  and finally have been inspired to continue.  I had a massage today where I intern since I get a discount,  amazing. And of course it was almost like therapy cause he asked how school was going since our last appt. 

Wrong question to ask.

Needless to say I was a bit homesick and frustrated talking about school and my "high expectations" that im not allowed to have,  and I realised that this was the perfect painting to work on.   I used pinterest ideas of cutting up toilet paper rolls ( yay for scissors)  and hot glued them and cotton balls.  I noticed my green layer looks like a map with lakes (kind of like the Midwest!  :)  )  and turned this painting in the direction of a map.    Not completed yet of course, will continue it or another tomorrow. 

By monday I plan to have at least five ready for a critique. Maybe will show another preview of something else at that time.