Processing

So I decided to put away my mixed media painting for now and work on a different type of painting.  Its a style that our gallery director liked and told me to reproduce for my final art show. 
I originally started the series during my painting course last fall as an experimentation with watercolors.   this winter I decided to add layers in acrylic and came up with pretty cool externlised version of my "inner conflicts" when thinking of my experience with cancer.  

To me cancer was a name for the pain and the chemo was a way to take away the pain.  Yes I realise now how close I was to death but it never felt like that at the time.    For me I came up with this saying that describes the paintings exactly, whther it came from somewhere idk but I consider it my own

" don't forget the past, but don't let it haunt the future"

Allergy season

Omg. Allergys are a bitch.  Thank you claritin!   Feel like I was hit by a bus sore throat itchy watery eyes.  Thankfully the claritin was able to help me go out with friends last night ( the movie oz was great! And walking around the mall and dinner was fun to)

But today   I ended up sleeping most of the day and still have hmwk todo.  And I swear the place I live has mold because I feel worse inside.  

Happy easter all! Hope yours was allergy free :-)

Woohoo!

3 years remission and today was declared "cured"  have to return only for yearly blood work.  And was told I am now able to go to a regular physician for normal problems!!

Followup

Today I had my followup visit.  First let me catch you up on the last week.  If I were more then minorly superstitious  I would be hiding in a hole.

Last Thursday I had a crazy dream. I was with friends from way back /elementary school, then I was talking with a guy, who I think I remember have a crush on,  then a friend from later who I have reconnected with came up (who in the dream happened to be his ex). And then suddenly she was dressed as death, and started chopping me with her scythe.   Then we were running through an airport, and the guy I was talking to just stared and then disappeared.

Saturday I flew home,  the first plane ended up being delayed because of engine and electric problems, they finally got it started and the plane kept making noises.  Then the second plane was delayed because the baggage carriers were not answering their walked or doing their jobs (they will probably be fired,  pilot was apologizing to everyone many times). So we were 45 min late landing

Today(Monday) I had my follow up scan.  We went up with our heavy purses and decided not to grab a wheelchair ,  sat and waited past our time to get blood drawn. The lady went oops, I forgot your file said pet scan so we have to take it out and start over (I really dislike needles, and pain).  Then mom and I shopped at the wellness center (. Btw, we have an art therapist now!!!  Totally checking if they want any summer interns).   Anyway,  on our way across the facility to pet scans I felt a sharp pain in my arm where the iv was.  Finally arrive at the pet scan and they couldn't get my iv to draw blood.  Then it started hurting as they flushed it and sent saline and as it hardened they finally took the needle out and tried my left arm.  ( 4 needle pokes total) and finally went in the pet scan machine and eventually left, but arms have been so sore and mildy bruised all day.

Find out results tomorrow. Hopefully this week will not be reflected in the scan results

So close but so far

Sooo tired.  Only three days of internship and then home for a week!!  Follow up petscan monday with results tuesday.

Yummy dinner

Chicken stir fry( a little dry but still experimenting, let me know what works for you! )

Cut chicken in pieces, bread with almond flour and spices
Cut up sweet mini peppers and onions

Sweet potato fries ( check past post for link)

Zoooom

Went roller blading tonight. Was awesome!  Now thats the way to relax.   Have to put so much thought and energy into skating that everything else goes away.  So wanted to keep going but after two hours my friends group was leaving.  Cant wait to go back :-)

The first thing the ticket person asked me was " are you picking someone up?" Lol felt real old there.   Then my friend and I realisef that all the goodlooking guys our age there were dads for the kid parties.  And then I realised it been 13 years or so since I last skated.   I feel old and alone .  But the year is still young so who knows. Yay for skating! And only falling once!

Frustration

Sorry that it isnt very clear, but I guess its not supposed to be.  I started this mixed media painting last year,  and finally have been inspired to continue.  I had a massage today where I intern since I get a discount,  amazing. And of course it was almost like therapy cause he asked how school was going since our last appt. 

Wrong question to ask.

Needless to say I was a bit homesick and frustrated talking about school and my "high expectations" that im not allowed to have,  and I realised that this was the perfect painting to work on.   I used pinterest ideas of cutting up toilet paper rolls ( yay for scissors)  and hot glued them and cotton balls.  I noticed my green layer looks like a map with lakes (kind of like the Midwest!  :)  )  and turned this painting in the direction of a map.    Not completed yet of course, will continue it or another tomorrow. 

By monday I plan to have at least five ready for a critique. Maybe will show another preview of something else at that time.

Photos from initial diagnosis and..

The set of 6 images are from my diagnosis labeled 1-6 in order from top, 1, 2
3, 4
5, 6

The other images are what im preparing for my final show! (Images are secret for now) 

Two are considered done and the rest half or less. Now if only I could stop being exhausted long enough to work on them!

Sleep whered you go?

This sucks.   Takes forever to get to sleep and then I don't feel like ive slept at all, now im running late to internship and have to spend all day working with people when id rather be sleeping and do the same thing tomorrow.  I cant take my prescribed sleeping pills cause they don't work and I cant take the Unisom cause I feel drugged up shortly after I have a regular night of sleep after.  And I don't meet with my doc back home for 18 days toget something new :-(