Change

Change can be difficult to handle.  With the recent election everyone has their thoughts and beliefs and feelings toward the situation and they are allowed to have them.  I have seen alot of this on social media, and i dont necessarily agree that that is the best way to express things; however we each do the best that we can and if that includes using our social media as a support, by all means use social media to express yourself.  Personally for me i like to find a more creative way to express myself. with a sale at #joanns i discovered #prismacolor colored pencils!!!! OMG they are amazing.  ( i also just found walmart sells them way cheaper in case the sale has ended by the time you read this post). they are the best colored pencils i have tried yet!! ( recieved some #mandala coloring books last christmas that i go into every now and then)  The colored pencils i have  used up till now that i truly enjoy are woodless colored pencils.  The only downside to them is they are limited amount of colors.  This prisma pack ( 24 colors )  is a wonderful variety!!!! and the color is like cream, i barely have to touch the paper for the color ( which is truly vibrant) to hit the page.  im used to colored pencils where force is needed to fill in the space.  This requires a light touch , which requires an adjustment period and is totally worth it.  i started out my morning preparing for a management "fire safety , appliance and house keeping check" this morning and while i was waiting for them to come i tried to make coffee and of course grabbed the container out of the closet and knocked a can from 4 ft up, onto tip of my big toe.   OUCH. so while i was recovering with a bag of ice until the inspection came / after he left ( went just fine btw)  i decided to distract myself from the throbbing pain by experimenting with the colors.  i almost wanted to cry at how nice these pencils work.  granted part of that may been from the pain..... i always enjoy trying new materials. especially good quality materials!!!  i recently saw this "art box" subscription through facebook where you pay 25 or 35$ a month and recieve a box of supplies to try with a small art project for inspiration  ( like a mini painting that comes with specific colored markers to re create that painting).  Im very tempted to try it for a month or two  as a christmas present to myself.

however you need to help yourself de stress from the election , i hope it works out for you.  if you do #create, please feel free to share an image in the comments!

Update on Kitty!

My cranky old man kitty Mickey had his heart scan yesterday.  there is no sign of heart disease!!!!!!!! so thankful!!!  I will be getting the specifics in the next few days after the doc does the write up but basically one of this valves is just a hair too close to an arterie so when hes stressed it gets sucked in and thats what causes his heart murmer.  He is given the clear to go under anesthesia for dental appointments!!! We almost didn't complete the scan because he wasn't allowing the doctor to do the initial exam.  They ended up holding him down and putting a muzzle on him. he survived and was given extra treats upon arrival at home :)  after an especially cranky afternoon hes now appeared settled again and taken over his chair in the living room. hes 15 ish and ive had him since he was about a week old, so definitely my baby!  i remember bottle feeding him, hand feeding him, litter training him.  So thankful hes ok and hopefully will last me a few more years!!!

Feel free to share pictures in the comments of your furbabies :)

ever after

So the #lls  #lightthenight walk #appleton turned out pretty nice.  two of my coworkers joined me in support of me as well as memory of past family members.  Its always wonderful to see the amount of support at events like this, and to know that appleton raised over 120,000 $ toward #bloodcancer #research!!!!!!!!!  #teamjustkeepswimming will be back again next year and i will share my link ahead of time once they open registration :).  

In other news, i took my cat to the vet for pre dental examination and blood work.   I found out he has  heart murmer :( :( :( which could have developed since his last appt in spring or missed from his previous vet. i recieved an email today that his blood work came back fine which im confused about, so i will be calling back tomorrow for more information and scheduling the cardiac workup that the vet reccomended.  i feel like getting that looked at is more important then getting his teeth cleaned with the chance of him not making it through the procedure due to the anesthesia and  heart condition.

my baby is 15ish years old and ive had him since he was like a week old! im hoping its simple thyroid issue , but im not feeling to positive since they didn't say the thyroid blood work wasn't out of the ordinary.  wish me luck all, ill update when i know something! until then enjoy these cute pics of my babes , and my dad who was engrossed in the packer game at the top photo.

Light the night

Its time to light the night! Last week i walked in the #milwaukee #lls #lightthenight walk with a team who has brought me into their #family.  Tonight im supposed to walk with a friend in #appleton , i didn't want to do this alone, however it looks like that will be the case.  I know im not really alone, and i was just going over my blog posts and saw the one i wrote before i went out west and met all the other amazing #young adult #survivors throughout the country (and then some , #canada)!  Somedays like today, i still feel alone.  This walk is important to me, its not about the money donations although that is definitely helpful.  This walk to me is #celebratinglife .  7 years from diagnoses ( give or take a few weeks) ( 2009, started chemo right before thanksgiving, but the month of october was full of testing at the big hospital - this would explain why my knees have been killing me this last two weeks - phantom pain) .  Online about every other post i see on fb is from a #firstdescents friend or a #campmakadream friend.   few have been anniversarys of those lost since then.  I overcome that sadness by knowing they are no longer in pain and are partyin in the sky or the rivers watching over us.  Part of me still feels survivor guilt over living, and at the same time im so thankful i was given a second chance regardless of others thoughts or feelings.  My  parents dont understand why i want to be a part of this community.  Thats why i do.  who else wants to be understood!?    SO needless to say,  if you find this in time for tonight, sign up for "team - just keep swimming and comment to let me know!

http://pages.lightthenight.org/wi/NEWI16/Justkeepswimming

EMDR

Last week i traveled to #milwaukee to be trained in using EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing  .  This technique is a quicker version of psychotherapy.  When i went to the training, i was open to the process because i have heard so many success stories.  I did not believe it actually worked, i was channeling the "placebo effect" - give a sugar pill but the person thinks its the real medication and it works  (mind over matter).  Part of this training though was me therapying myself and it was amazing the difference i felt and am still feeling during the after effects (processing continues after therapy session ends)

This training was a small group of therapists from around the midwest and first half of each day was learning a portion of the technique, and the second half was us going in small groups of three (observer, client, therapist) and practicing the technique on eachother so that we could each experience being the client and practice using the technique as the therapist.

We picked "smaller issues" to work on over the 3 day period so that we could still notice if the technique worked and maybe feel better about something that was bothering us.  To start we learned a general overview of the technique, history and such. We each created a "safe place" to go to if the technique brought up intense emotion and this would help us relax through it.  We then placed our issue with negative and positive thoughts and used the technique which is the eye movement, to help re organize the thoughts and feelings connected to that experience which in effect affected how we feel today in similiar situations.

Day two was going in depth with our situation, the negative and positive cognition and hopefully overcoming that initial experience.  This was where the intense emotions would come up, between "feeder memories" (similar experiences).  My working issue was my fear of public speaking. we "floated back" by imagining the experience (speaking in public), taking those physical sensations, and allowing ourselves to go back to previous times where we felt that sensation and recording the memories down to the earliest memory.  we had to think about that memory and as we processed it with the eye movement, we were incorporating what we know now, into that memory until our image of that memory , not necessarily faded, but didn't "feel " as strong. This is where feeder memories came in , different situations that were simliar to the memories / feelings.  Our brain is basically a filing cabinet - We experience a situation and our body and mind connect to create sensations - positive and negative.  With my experience i brought up shame - or negatively "im not good enough, im not worthy".  My positive was " i am worthy".  I would think the positive with the situation until my mind was able to make connections from all the experience that ive learned, (they call this adaptive information processing) with that situation and re organized the internal filing cabinet so that yes i still had the memory, but the feelings were normalized, that memory was categorized properly in the cabinet and the part that connects now is no longer negative.  yes i remember the feelings i had associated, but now its more, "yes it happened, im over it, i remember how i felt about it but now that intense show of emotion is gone becuase the filing cabinet is organized'.

Day three was going over what happened since the last session.  Normally these sessions are a week apart, and they dont always complete themselves in one session.  This should also be done with a professional to help process memories and emotions that come up.  The processing as i said continues after the session.  I had strange dreams that normally i would consider nightmares over the weekend. i was also completely drained and fatigued.  I had new memories come up that , werent repressed but i had forgot  about them ( which is normal).  the connections i was able to make between experiences and similiar experiences was amazing.  I had gone to counseling all through college for my fear of public speaking and confronting people , or feelings of nervousness when the boss called me in.  Nothing ever made me feel good, i always left each session in tears and felt like crap.  This weekend was a big breakthrough, i feel like a giant weight has been lifted.  Granted other things came up that i now will have to process in therapy, but its a good thing. I was able to move past that initial young memory.  Im still feeling the fatigue even 4 days later, but i also feel a sense of motivation to do things that i havent felt in a long time.  Anyway - day three, how have things been, has anything changed, any new memories come up.  If anything has, we repeat day two with the new items, negative and cognitive, and repeat safe place.

Emdr isn't for everyone, but it may help you.  Emdr has been mainly used and researched with veterans and ptsd, however it has been used with other populations experiencing different types of trauma.   Trauma has been defined as any situation that caused negative feelings.  I felt intense emotion at different times, however with us being trained before we started , my acting therapist was able to help me through them properly. That is very important because not being able to process feelings properly can lead to deeper emotions and actions.  Safe place is made to help cushion, but to have a therapist guide to the safe place feeling and through the steps is important in case we "fall off the tracks" and cant pull up that cushion.

To find a EMDR trained therapist near you, checkout the emdria website

http://www.emdria.org/search/custom.asp?id=2337

Firepit ramblings

Fall is almost here!  the warmth has turned to chilliness.  I have a fireplace in my apartment, so tonight i threw in some logs and some junk mail and roasted marshmellows!  now im curled in my fuzzy soft plink blanket and writing to yall :)  nothing like a warm toasty room and soft blanket to welcome in the chill.  Its great to reboot the senses once in a while.  light some candles, soft fuzzy blanket or fuzzy warm socks. throw a blanket in the dryer for about 20 minutes and curl up with a good book.  warm cup of tea or chicken broth. mmmm the things we can do for self care!  Totally important in todays busy lives.   My nephew whos 12 mind you, just started 7th grade, says "hes too busy to check his email".  if hes too busy now, wait till hes in his 20s working and paying bills!  needless to say, its good to take time to yourself and reboot.

im super excited to share!  Not only do i have my new website sharing general art therapy services:
www.samanthahanson.weebly.com

and my facebook page:
www.facebook.com/shanson.atpy

i have a new pinterest page!!!!!!!
https://www.pinterest.com/shansonatpy/

The clinic and i have been busy doing vendor events on weekends inluding the Autism Speaks walk in Green bay,  the NAMI walk also in greenbay, and i shared our booth at a small breastcancer fundraiser in appleton!   We have more vendor events coming soon and we are working on mailing out info packets for our clinic to local businesses, so if you are within driving distance of Greenbay and want our packet, let me know! our clinic offers EMDR (which im getting trained on later this week), Brain Spotting, Art Therapy, Pet Therapy and more :)

www.spectrumbh.com For more information on our therapists and the clinic. ( the contact us button on my personal website will also take you to the clinic website)

This is so exciting to be taking this journey! im loving it up here in greenbay and the clinic is wonderful, family based entrepeneurs looking to make a difference.

birds are singing and the sun is out

My apartment is more or less together :) and im now accepting clients!

www.samanthahanson.weebly.com - for an idea about what Art Therapy is and services offered

my new supply cabinet unfortunatly came dented, so once the new one comes ill take pics of my office and give you a tour!  I have officially started seeing clients, its nervewracking and exciting at the same time!!! i know with time the nerves will go and the excitement of helping others will only grow.  in between clients i get to go through my stack of art therapy / counseling directives and figure out potential treatment plans to share with clients. I will most likely use a mix of dialectical behavioral therapy and cognitive approache ( which technically they are a part of eachother, but some clinicians keep them seperate - depends on where they went for formal training ).  however in the end after i share my ideas with the clients we will work together to compromise and change according to the clients wishes and goals.  i offer a sketchbook to clients for homework use in between appointments.  the client is then able to record issues and feelings brought up throughout the week and help become aware of of them so that we have a better idea of what to work on.  being a sketchbook the client is able to write, or collage, or draw / doodle.   a private space that they can share with me or keep to themselves but a tool to seperate and confront thoughts on.    The narrative approach is better for some clients as its a retelling of their story, and changing the next chapter.  its more in depth and focused on the past then the present, but as the story is retold comes into the present and considers the future.  

Food for thought :

what do you do to relax ? what do you think art therapy is?  what is your favorite season?

Check out my new website!

Thanks to #weebly I now have a general art therapy services business website!  Tells a little about me, what art therapy is and the services offered - brief synopsis of what we can work with.  A contact us page is available and tales you to our clinic website for scheduling.

Http://samanthahanson.weebly.com 

New adventures

I'm slowly getting settled into my new apartment!  And thanks to my "psychology today" profile, I have received two client requests! I'm so thankful that I've been able to get the schooling and experiences I've been given so that I can help people who are in need.  I have worked in medical settings with art as healing, behavioral health residential and inpatient settings as a support staff- counselor, and an art therapist in open studio format /outpatient basis (come and go as you please) through a hospital as well.  I'm looking forward to joining my new clinic. I officially start next week as we are currently going through all the insurance paperwork so I can expand my system of who I can see.  I am hoping to be able to start an open studio for the community by fall if not group sessions by then with interested clients.  

Please feel free to follow my Facebook page which I offer articles on mental health /art therapy and other creative ways that people incorporate music, art, drama and dance together for healing . 

https://www.facebook.com/shanson.ATPY/

My thoughts are with Orlando, please donate blood if you are able to.  I would however I don't know if I can because of my medical history. 

over the river and through the woods

this last few weeks have been flying by!  i have been working almost every day since the road trip, and the few days i didnt i spent packing!  so many boxes of text books and art supplies. whew.  this next week is the official move to my new apartment!  the pool is open :)

 im nervous becuase as a new professional, im new. however i am confident that i will know what im doing when the time comes.  my last official day at open studio was sad and exciting. ive been there about 3 years so i've gotten to know many of the clients and seen many interns go through the program.  i would like to stay where i am, however the problems with scheduling errors has become to stressful, in an already high stress work environment, so i am ready for a change.  while  i am nervous, i am excited to finally be an official art therapist / counselor! I went through many interviews being told "you are too new of a professional" and to finally be told " you are new, and that is ok, you can grow with us" from a small yet growing outpatient counseling facility is wonderful! working inpatient and residential has been a learning experience. I am looking forward to working outpatient and hopefully starting an open studio in that location as well :)  i love helping people, offering a tool or support to help them help themselves, and seeing them grow!  Changing their story, helping them move forward the way others have helped me in the past.  I went through counseling during stressful times in undergrad, and again after treatment for my cancer. and again during the stress of gradschool.  time to pay it forward and help others going through a rough and difficult time :)

summer fun

OMG all. this last week i was on an amazing road trip with my dad!  we drove to vegas, however we stopped at Grand Canyon, Hoover dam , Zion , Bryce and Arches national parks!!!!!! it was amazing and beautiful. I posted a bunch of photos and videos on my facebook page and one of these days ill post some highlights on here :)  We spent a few hours hiking through Arches National Parks, so glad that i had my hiking sticks from last summer. ( when i was with First Descents and we hiked up Grand Tetons National Park to view the waterfall on our day off of kayaking) .  I told my group we need a kayaking reunion somewhere along the colorado river. amazing parts of the river which would be perfect for beginner / intermediate kayakers!!

I am now working my butt off on my current job as i will be transitioning the next two months into my new Art Therapy / Counselor position!  In between the many hours i have picked up as a residential counselor i will be packing to move to #GreenBay area. My new Team is The "Spectrum Behavioral Health" Center on the West side of town. I am very excited to share Art Therapy with those who are in need.  For those not interested in Art Therapy i will also provide traditional counseling. Each treatment is individualized with the client :)

I will be moving my Marykay up north so if you know anyone wanting to try skincare / play with the makeup please send along my website! www.marykay.com/shanson  ;know anyone interested in my "jewelry in candles " - (soy , usa made, essential oil fragrance - https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/shanson_candles

changes

Excited to announce all!  i have accepted a position 2 hours north of Milwaukee as an Art Therapist / Counselor.  im super excited, i will be starting end of june so this next few months i get to work on packing and getting my name out there!  Im excited to be official and to share my marykay and jewelry in candles in my free time!!!

breath

It feels like spring but its not supposed to! Here in Wisconsin it tends to be winter from February to may.  On top of that ive been doing night shifts so im all out of sorts!!

Wanted to share iwth you my LLS - Leukemia Lymphoma Society - Light the Night walk fundraising page

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I have joined another cancer survivor and her team for the second year in a row.  Its an amazing night. they have food, different oncology resources set up to view, spin the wheel games to win theatre tickets, and best of all balloons of different colors to support loved ones lost, current patients and survivors.  Our teams get photos taken on stage and we all walk the park and end the night with fireworks! I definitely recommend going to one in your area or joining me if your local!!

I also want to share with you my young adult oncology groups fundraising page. We mainly want to share the page to spread the word we exist to other young adults living with cancer. If you know anyone please share the link!  The fundraising page is for us to raise funds for events to bring us together and of course spread awareness to the local city that we are here, we have fun and we want to share the love :)

https://www.crowdrise.com/youngadultoncologygr/fundraiser/yaog


Celebrate life with someone today.  Next week is my 6 year cancerversary!!  (no evidence of disease, my new life, my second chance).

new year new business new doctors!

happy January! almost February!!!  I started selling Jewelry In Candles this last week!  its super cool.  #soy #candles #madeinusa .  many fun fragrances ranging from mild to intense, in wax tarts or candles and body butter!  jewelry comes in everything!  and the scents are amazing. its the only type of candle that does not give my dad a headache.  I will post images about what JIC is later, if you'd like to see my facebook page and website, here are both links:

https://www.facebook.com/shanson.candles/ - facebook!

https://www.jewelryincandles.com/store/shanson_candles  is my store link! 

I am doing fundraising with my local oncology group, we have a crowdrise page to help raise funds for events! its super fun, I had originally been planning a big event until I found out we weren't able to get funds for seed money :( .  we have a panel at the local hospital next week where a few of us will be talking about camps like #campmakadream and #firstdescents and #stupidcancer !  

I went back to the doctor because I still have this nasty cough. I was freaking out about finding nodules on my chart thing that were never explained to me but she set me straight.  however she wants me to lose 30 lbs in 6 months, see a nutritionist and obesity clinic, but I can't even see them until march and she wants me down 15 lbs by our april follow up.  so if your a nutritionist out there and willing to do a phone consult, please email me!!! hansonsj24@gmail.com

happy new year!

2015 was  an interesting year.  i had health problems which sucked ( still no reason as to why or how but i seem to be stable at the moment for my unknown but severe acid reflux) but i was able to travel the country! i went to montana, wyoming, minnesota and out to canada for an annual fishing trip!  i learned to kayak, i met many other young adult cancer survivors and attended camp where i rock climbed and zip lined! Amaaazing. ive got lots of anxiety, so to do these things without giving up because of fear was awesome!  lately ive been getting involved with my local oncology group for fundraising which is pretty exciting.  i crocheted a bowser for my nephews christmas present and ive been trying to do more coloring and painting.  This weekend the nephews are over and were having good times playing in the snow, board games, playing pool and watching movies!   i also received my certificate for "art therapist registered " and "licensed professional counselor"  !!!!!! woohoo!!