transitions,trauma and surviving

edit******- so apparently last i posted i had already moved up here. - the cancer writing group fell through, and the current clinic is the one spoken about in a recent previous post. Also about Mickey, while it wasn't his heart we think the febreeze pet friendly litter and trauma of the fire all were a bad combination leading to his passing- and my other cats all had allergic reactions while using that litter so be mindful if its in your own home. i am very thankful to the care appenasha pet clinic gave us extending his life the extra year and a half, would highly recommend them being both affordable and great bedside manner.


i wonder who reads blogs anymore, that are not associated with an app?  i hear about apps such as reddit, tick tock, snapchat, so many more at work.  Which, WOW its been a while!!  Since i last posted i have had quite the transition.


 Here is the summary of my time line: 2017 started at a clinic in Appleton- part of the clinic NO longer independent- but thats ok, i enjoy it.  Shortly after i started so right after my last post in may- my apartment burned down and i had to move to Appleton ( while bitter and traumatized, also ok as my commute is alot shorter). i am still currently with this clinic - worked in day treatment leading art therapy groups for about a year and then switched to full time outpatient ( less intensive then day treatment), and starting January i will be doing one or two days in schools that we are associated with. ( will be here 3 years come march! wooot).

 My health in these last few years has been up and down,  being told im paranoid and such and not treatable. currently im in between acid reflux flare ups. I also started fostering dogs through "Woof Lodge and Rescue"!!! Super excited all! i have helped several puppies on their journies and only adopted one!  my animal children have changed a bit, i now have a few fish, few new cats, the new dog, the original dog DeeDee, and have lost a pet - my beloved mickey RIP, passed away this summer due to a combination of old age and we think a type of intestinal kitty cancer.

Im going to have to keep more up to date with this blog regardless if anyone's watching because its nice to let it out and complain, maybe i can find a way to privatize it. i respectfully ask to keep away negative comments to keep this blog peaceful. typing is easier then hand writing and i dont want to pay for the cloud space.

new clinic

Hello all!  i mentioned i was starting at a new clinic this month, so far its very exciting!  I have finished my first two weeks of orientation and start seeing clients tomorrow.  Starting in may i will lead art therapy groups through the day treatment center for ages 12-18.  Starting tomorrow i am seeing individual clients through outpatient treatment located at the day treatment center.  Eventually we plan to offer art therapy groups through outpatient.   Whats the difference between them?  Day treatment is intensive 4 hour a day 5 day / week treatment and outpatient is a once or twice weekly 45-60 min session (or bi weekly / monthly) appointment.
                                    ( Fun fact - did you know Catalpa Health is named after the Catalpa tree?)

Usually the Way it goes is inpatient -->residential > day treatment > outpatient.  

Inpatient  - An individual has self harmed to the point of a suicide attempt

Residential - an individual has stablized enough to transfer out of inpatient, or enter in after multiple self harms due to depressive thoughts or a lowered quality of life due to excess anxiety / mental illness. - 24/7 care, see doctors, therapists, nutritionists, experiential therapists , a team of professionals to help work on the mental health and increase quality of life.

Day Treatment - intensive 4 hr per day 5 day per week treatment where a team of counselors / psychologists / psychiatrists work together to teach groups and individual therapy to review what skills were learned in residential and work on incorporating them into daily stressors and work toward increasing that quality of life while experiencing triggers outside of a residential setting. (ex school, family trouble, )

Outpatient - individual has "Graduated" from the day treatment program and is in a good place, requiring followup appointments once or twice a week, bi weekly or monthly depending on their quality of life and stressors.

new survivor group!

I am so excited all!  through meetup.com i found a cancer survivor writing workshop, we sent an invitation to the fox valley oncology group who has a facebook page and a monthly support group who is going to put out flyers for their patients and survivors!  I will be hosting an art therapy workshop at the end of an 8 week writing workshop this summer in Depere.  I am also going to be contacting the rec department or the place i held a previous studio at for Asnew about starting a consistant open studio, sponsored by my new clinic where i will be doing art therapy groups and individual sessions in appleton starting the end of march.

Im so excited for these changes, even if i had to close the door on one opportunity a new one opened.  New chapters bring new adventures! It would be wonderful to meet with other survivors, through a writing workshop or just hanging out. Having a local group of friends, people who understand, people who need to talk and vent who understand will be cool.   There is so much to do in this area i cant wait to discover it , with my new survivor friends or on my own now that i have settled down from moving and have time to explore.

exciting news, changes happening

Hello again! I have news to share that I will be switching outpatient clinics.   While I have enjoyed working with Spectrum Behavioral Health, I was given an offer to join the Catalpa Health team in #appleton / #foxvalley and for financial reasons I had to accept.  It is difficult starting a new practice in a new city, and by joining forces with catalpa i can work my way back to private practice in the future.  I will be temporarily helping out in the Oshkosh schools (where catalpa is also located) as well as hosting art therapy groups at the appleton day treatment center (where the new outpatient clinic will be located) for our youth and am looking forward to this new adventure! Keep an eye on my website for any new updates, as well as i will post here any more changes and updates as well

www.samanthahanson.weebly.com

New year, new start, new you!

New year means new you, right?  Not necessarily!  You can be an enhanced you. The greatest wisdom i have been told for meeting people, interviewing for jobs, going new places, is to "be yourself".

Sometimes we have to enhance our features,by doing our research  and putting a plan in action.  What is my new years resolution? i started at a gym with a black friday sale.  I even bit the bullet and signed up for a professional trainer.  Did i hit my new years goal of losing certain amount of weight? not quite, but i did make some progress and for my first goal both trainer and i agreed it was a good start!  My body has had a lot of stress done to it from living with cancer, enduring the chemo and the previous condition of endometriosis, so even starting to get in shape with floor exercises to increase mobility, flexibility and strengthening was alot to start in that short of time.  Thankfully each week (with exception of after christmas - oops) i did lose something, but most importantly i felt better!  my floor exercises were getting easier and gasp...boring!  i was even experimenting with the machines before the trainer officially brought it up in our once weekly meeting (carefully of course, small amounts of weight to try). Also noticed that my boots do not feel like ankle weights this winter, and normally they do (that is a fun experience, not have that heaviness around the ankles all season).

 As for my anxiety, i have an outlet to decrease the worrying. Not like i didn't before, i have my arts and crafts, my video games, friends to vent to, but the exercising seems to help in a different way. I put away my phone and i focus on the floor exercises. i have to do so many rounds of each to work different muscles and then i do cardio for a certain amount of time while keeping track of my breathing and my heartrate, then i go to the machines depending on the day with my work out schedule and focus on form and weights so that i dont hurt myself by overdoing it or handling the machines wrong.  Really exersizing to me is a form of meditation. I personally don't know how people can be on their phones while still doing a good workout. Maybe after im "officially in shape" ill be able to as well?  until then, im ok people watching, watching the tvs, listening to the gym music (can't seem to get music on my phone and headphones distract me ) or talking with a friend while we do the cardio together. The repetitiveness of the floor exersizes and trying to hit my step goal through fitbit help keep me focused.  Seeing the scale going down helps to but its only added incentive.  I can't wait till i can feel healthy and look healthy- My new self, still me, only a better version of myself.

What do you find to be meditative to help with your anxiety, or depression?

Change

Change can be difficult to handle.  With the recent election everyone has their thoughts and beliefs and feelings toward the situation and they are allowed to have them.  I have seen alot of this on social media, and i dont necessarily agree that that is the best way to express things; however we each do the best that we can and if that includes using our social media as a support, by all means use social media to express yourself.  Personally for me i like to find a more creative way to express myself. with a sale at #joanns i discovered #prismacolor colored pencils!!!! OMG they are amazing.  ( i also just found walmart sells them way cheaper in case the sale has ended by the time you read this post). they are the best colored pencils i have tried yet!! ( recieved some #mandala coloring books last christmas that i go into every now and then)  The colored pencils i have  used up till now that i truly enjoy are woodless colored pencils.  The only downside to them is they are limited amount of colors.  This prisma pack ( 24 colors )  is a wonderful variety!!!! and the color is like cream, i barely have to touch the paper for the color ( which is truly vibrant) to hit the page.  im used to colored pencils where force is needed to fill in the space.  This requires a light touch , which requires an adjustment period and is totally worth it.  i started out my morning preparing for a management "fire safety , appliance and house keeping check" this morning and while i was waiting for them to come i tried to make coffee and of course grabbed the container out of the closet and knocked a can from 4 ft up, onto tip of my big toe.   OUCH. so while i was recovering with a bag of ice until the inspection came / after he left ( went just fine btw)  i decided to distract myself from the throbbing pain by experimenting with the colors.  i almost wanted to cry at how nice these pencils work.  granted part of that may been from the pain..... i always enjoy trying new materials. especially good quality materials!!!  i recently saw this "art box" subscription through facebook where you pay 25 or 35$ a month and recieve a box of supplies to try with a small art project for inspiration  ( like a mini painting that comes with specific colored markers to re create that painting).  Im very tempted to try it for a month or two  as a christmas present to myself.

however you need to help yourself de stress from the election , i hope it works out for you.  if you do #create, please feel free to share an image in the comments!

Update on Kitty!

My cranky old man kitty Mickey had his heart scan yesterday.  there is no sign of heart disease!!!!!!!! so thankful!!!  I will be getting the specifics in the next few days after the doc does the write up but basically one of this valves is just a hair too close to an arterie so when hes stressed it gets sucked in and thats what causes his heart murmer.  He is given the clear to go under anesthesia for dental appointments!!! We almost didn't complete the scan because he wasn't allowing the doctor to do the initial exam.  They ended up holding him down and putting a muzzle on him. he survived and was given extra treats upon arrival at home :)  after an especially cranky afternoon hes now appeared settled again and taken over his chair in the living room. hes 15 ish and ive had him since he was about a week old, so definitely my baby!  i remember bottle feeding him, hand feeding him, litter training him.  So thankful hes ok and hopefully will last me a few more years!!!

Feel free to share pictures in the comments of your furbabies :)